The prestigious and excellent-for-a-laugh International Journal of Obesity reported today that fatness and stupidity are actually linked at a physiological level. Cortisol, a hormone released in moments of stress and as a result of obesity, causes a decline in cognitive performance.

In this experiment, they decided to induce stress by making their test subjects go skydiving! While nervously cruising to the drop zone, the scientists took saliva samples and made the participants perform IQ tests that measured a broad range of cognitive functions.

The fat group experienced significantly greater cortisol spikes than the normal-weight group. Not only that, but they performed significantly worse on the cognitive tests (compared to baseline) than their normal-weight counterparts.

So what does this mean?

1. Don’t take fat people skydiving because they’ll freak out, lose their minds, and just do something irrational and unnpredictable
2. Staying relaxed is key to operating at 100% cognitive efficiency

I would once again like to point out that while I enjoy ridiculing fat people, I have nothing fundamentally against them and hope that they can one day be brought to a state of ruddy, muscular, and extremely sexy health with something as easy as popping a single pill. However, I do want people to think twice before they let themselves slide down that slippery slope of cakes, chips, and complete and chronic inactivity.

Photo credit: Bedtime Champ, Flickr