A recent press release reports that pumping short children with Growth Hormone (GH) can markedly increase their final height even if they’re not growth hormone deficient in the first place.

In the past, this kind of approach was only used on those extremely short children in whom a growth hormone deficiency was detected, but it turns out that it doesn’t matter – all children can benefit from a bit of the old juice!

This was a very long term study, looking at the effects on 150 children over the course of 20 years.

Apparently the technique works better when the child is unusually short compared to its parents, but remained efficacious even when it was a case of short+short=short.

Does this mean that if one’s not satisfied with their stature, and their parter brings no improvement to their collective gene pool that preemptive treatment will become the norm?

Do you, like me, foresee a future populated exclusively with monster men?

If largeness were so inherently desirable, however, why are aliens so small and diminutive? Obviously possessing far greater genetic engineering technology that we do, surely if extreme head altitude were truly a better state of being, then they’d have super-sized themselves millions of years ago.

They probably did and immediately realized that it’s actually a bit annoying being tall, and the only benefit is that people have to look up to you, and that they equate tallness with goodness. It’s not real though, no more so than big breasts being indicative of job suitability.

I know it’s a tough road for short guys. I can see their daily struggle from up here and I pity them, I really do! So, for their sake I’m declaring this medical advancement ‘absolutely brilliant’, and I’ll join them in their prayers for a solution that works on people who have already passed through puberty.

The study has been accepted for publication in the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism (JCEM).

Adapted from a Eurekalert press release